Change

Change is good, even downward plunges are needed once in awhile.

For most of my life I've viewed change as this monster who I loathed terribly. After all, it was this monster who moved this once 12 year girl from the only place I'd ever known to a state where I knew no one and wouldn't for some time. For me, it has always been tied to pain and heartache. Tears and frustration. Only now, as an adult, do I see the value and beauty it can bring to one's life.

Through the years my life has had many twists and turns, which my perfectionist-self has not enjoyed. I like plans and hate to have something thrown on me on a whim. But, I've quickly come to realize that God doesn't work that way. In fact, I think He kind of enjoys the latter. It's then that, someone like myself, really has to rely and trust in Him.

These past few years have brought a lot of change my way. I moved back to where God had moved me from some 10 years ago. Then I moved again. And again. And then...again. I gained friends and I lost some along the way. I questioned Him many times. I got hurt. I failed. I loved. I cried.

Though it still remains a painful process, I know now that the end result is always worth it. I've seen the evidence portrayed over and over again in my life. If it weren't for change, I would not be the person I am today. I would have never had the opportunity to grow, to stretch, to create, to be transformed.

"He has made everything beautiful in its time..." Ecclesiates 3:11

Only God can take the change that comes our way, no matter how big of a mess it seems, and bring beauty from it. And it's that beauty I'm so desperately longing for. So, as change knocks on my door once again, I'm ready this time.

ashley jael