Self Discovery of sorts

Lately I have been taking a good look at my life. I think with all the changes and growth that has been taking place in my life over these past three months, it has really made me stop and not only see how far God has brought me, but also look at my life and gain confidence in the woman He has created me to be. It's the little self discovers of finding out why I am the way that I am and loving the person I am growing into. No matter how quirky or insecure I may be...God loves me for me. Such a little concept, yet one that has so much depth in my life anymore. The following is a random list of some of my self discoveries I've pondered as of late.

I have a fear of failure and my insecurities have held me back from so much in life. I'm determined to change that.

I'm not one to express myself verbally as much as I would like to. It's an area that I have grown in by leaps and bounds over the years, yet I'm still a work in progress.

I've wasted too much of my life wrapped up in stress and worry. By the grace of God I'm finally learning how to let it go and give Him control.

Many times I have talked to God about my annoyance with my "emotional" side. But I've come to realize that He has blessed me with a soft heart, one with compassion that hurts when others hurt. One that literally feels what others are going through and God has been able to turn it into something beautiful. I wouldn't change that for anything.

I used to (not so much anymore) be concerend with what God was doing in other people's lives and what He wasn't doing in mine. I've realized that He does a different work in each and every one of us and if I am so consumed with what is happening in the lives of those around me then I just might miss out on the blessings He is doing in my life.

What about you? What have you discovered lately?

ashley jael

Remember when we worked at Summer camp?

My Summer came and went. It was much to fast for my liking, but I gained so much out of it that I can't complain. For ten weeks I had the opportunity to work up in the beautiful mountains with 5th and 6th graders. As terrified as I was in the beginning, wondering why I was there in the first place, God began to prove to me over time His reasons for having me there. Going into it, I was longing to escape my reality and just be consumed with my Lord. Quickly I began to realize that no matter the distance, I wasn't going to run from my problems. And no Love was going to stand there and allow me to believe the lies and I had listened to for far too long. So there I was, out of my comfort zone, in a new environment, desperately trying to hold on. Unfortunately, that didn't last long. Day one I was already falling apart. Week two and I couldn't hold back the tears. Day after day and night after night I came face to face with my insecurities, my weaknesses, those things in my life that I was trying so hard to run from. But the more I cried out, the more He provided His comfort. The more I was honest with how I felt, the more He showed me how He felt. Little did I know that He was restoring and healing this fragile heart of mine, allowing it to bud and bloom once again. He has shown me so much of His greatness this Summer. Pouring out His love so abundantly I can't help but smile at His glory! What I thought my Summer would look like became so much more than I could have ever imagined. It has has grown me and established a firmer foundation in Christ. I have learned to have faith, to trust, to have a love so much deeper than before. I have realized that I truly can do anything with the strength of Christ. He's the only one who gave me the endurance to make it through every day. He's the only one who held my hand and walked me through the darkness. Only HE saw my broken heart and knew just what it would take to make me feel whole again. My God is so beautiful and good to me! I hate that I ever doubt Him and all that He is capable of doing. He has blessed me beyond measure, filling my cup overflowing with His love and grace. How can I not praise Him? How can I not sing of all He's done? My Summer at FOHO may be over, but the things God has showed me will stay in my heart forever. I can't wait to see where He takes me next.

A.M. One Oh!

Remember When...

Otter Pops
Cougar life!
Dance Parties
Slurpees
FroYo
Long and Skinny
Ultimate Frisbee
Lakeview Prayer Chapel
Orientation Week
Cabin 96
Lake Days
"Mighty Mouse"
That dreaded AM hill
Justin Bieber's "baby"
Monday night gatherings
Sunflower butter sandwiches
Worshiping under a canopy of stars
"Yeah you did!"
Tuesday morning picture days
Inspector Gadget dance
Yodeling
Fwee Twogs
5am Lost mine hike
Code 9's
Grandma jokes
Thursday night affirmations
Staff banquet


ashley jael