Three days, three nights, and a miracle

With sickness plaguing me in more ways than one and sleep deprivation on the rise, I have found it to be a bit of a struggle to keep my head above water this week. I'm tired. I'm weak. And I am in need of a miracle.

This Monday marks the crucial deadline to have the $1,800 required for my plane ticket to Sri Lanka and, unfortunately, I am $1,228 short of that goal. As Monday is quickly approaching I find it far too easy to look at the numbers and wonder how it can possibly come together in three days (Believe me, I've tried!).
But God can.

I was reminded of the concept of having to wait on God and HIS timing; all while remaining faithful, on my drive home from work just hours ago. The speaker likened it to the idea of being at the doctor's office and having to wait for hours in the waiting room. How easy it is for us to get frustrated and wonder when we will be taken care of and be out the door and on our way. We can't see what's happening behind those walls. We can't see that there may be a patient who has an emergency greater than ours that they need to spend more time with. We can't see that maybe the doctor or nurses have to prepare something for our visit. But they know we are there and all we have to do is wait. So it is with us in our times of waiting with the Lord. We can't see what God is doing behind the scenes, what He is preparing or working in the hearts of those around us as well as ourselves. But He knows we're here and all we have to do is remain faithful with where we are and have the faith to trust in Him and His timing.

I have NO idea what God is doing, all I know is that He is growing and stretching me through this process. Each day that the deadline gets closer, each hour that goes by, I have the opportunity to be stressed and discouraged over how everything looks on paper, or I have the opportunity to have the peace that the Lord so graciously gives in knowing that if it is His will....He WILL provide. Though I am physically weak, I will rest spiritually in the strength of my Father who will supply all my needs.

"But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

With love, Aj

(If you feel it in your heart to help support me financially,
you can do so by clicking the donate button on the right toolbar)

Hands and Feet: Sri Lanka 2012

"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him [be] glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen."
Ephesians 3:20, 21
As I sit here meditating on these few verses from Ephesians, I am overwhelmed at just the mere thought of what Christ has in store for me come April. A few months ago I felt the leading to sign up for my church's recent missions outreach to Colombo/Aragam Bay, Sri Lanka and you can say that I jumped on board when I heard about the opportunity to go and serve with some members of my church family. My heart is being stirred more and more each day as I continue to keep this step of faith in prayer and work towards the goal of raising $3,500 to accommodate everything I need for this next endeavor. Though at times it can be a bit stressful as to how and when it will all come together, I find verses like the aforementioned so comforting. God has burned a passion so deep in my heart to bring His love and hope to the world and I know that even the smallest glimpse of what I think He is going to do will only be exceedingly and abundantly surpassed by what He will end up doing.

That being said, I can't do this alone. Along with prayer, I would like to ask for those reading this for your partnership in supporting me financially. I believe that those who have the ability to send are just as important as those being sent, for without one, the other would cease to exist. If you have it on your heart to do so you can just click the "donate" button on the right side of the page.

With love,
Aj

Isaiah 6:8

New news.
New blog post.
Coming soon.

With Love,
Aj

"Love makes your heart smile, even when your face can't."

2010: A year in review

Like most people at the end of a year, I like to sit back and reflect on the year I had. I love to recollect all the laughter, recount all the joy, and see how God was at work in my life throughout the whole process. (Unfortunately I'm writing this a few days later than expected.)

In January/February I felt like I had cried more than I had in a lifetime (albeit a short lifetime). It was an unhealthy amount and it left me miserable, terribly depressed, and my heart felt pain I had never imagined possible. But, it also showed me the meaning of true love. As much as I felt like I had this inexpressible agony deep in my chest, I was reminded constantly of the endless love of my family, the unwavering love of my Savior and how I can radiate that pure love to the lives of those around me.

March brought me back to Texas to visit a girl friend I hadn't seen since I had moved away three years prior. We had a photo shoot in downtown San Antonio, stayed up late chatting and giggling like Jr. Highers who have stayed up way past their bedtime, and got lost driving around just like old times. I attended a women's retreat with her while I was in town and God began to show me just a glimpse of how "He makes everything beautiful in its time." (Ecc. 3:11)

I celebrated my mom's birthday at Disneyland in April and quickly learned how to change a tire when it decided to pop on the side of the freeway.

In May, I took a step backwards and reevaluated my life. I wasn't happy with where I had been and dared to make a change for the better. It marked the beginning of my six month long commitment to "No boys, just Jesus" and God began to pinpoint those tender areas where I needed to grow, if I was all but willing to surrender them to Him.
June - August led me to Summer camp, away from my family and friends and the circumstances that became too heavy to bare, where I would spend my Summer living in the mountains with people I had never met before.




Every day I was in awe of God and His creation all around me. Whether it be the mountains and forests that were my backyard or the beauty of His stars that graced the heavens every night.

God opened my eyes to so much that Summer. He gave me insight on areas that needed improvement in my life. He grew my faith, confidence, and trust in Him and He continued to show me just how vast His love is for me. It was a scary, amazing, and incredibly tiring experience that came at a time when I needed it the most.

September met me back at home with a passion and fire that had been ignited during the Summer. I was excited to serve more at my church and see where God would direct me this coming year. Desperately I was wanting to submerge my hands and feet into whatever area I was to get involved with. An opportunity opened up to be apart of both the Jr. and Sr. High school ministry and my heart was more than happy to jump on board.

It also brought the arrival of my eigth niece (so far), Paulina Grace.

October was filled with explorations of local botanical gardens and orchards as well as the celebration of my Father's birthday. I've always known what a blessed lady I am to have a Father like him, but this year it really hit home. I am terribly blessed to have a Father that is a man after God's own heart, who lives a life that is truly an example of Christ here on Earth. Gives me hope in my time of waiting...

In November I hit my sixth month mark of the fore mentioned commitment. Through the process I've learned how to fall more deeply in love with God, have confidence in the woman He has created me to be, and that I don't need a man to complete me. He is all and will be all I will ever need.

December came and went far too fast. Amongst the birthdays, Christmas parties, and hustle and bustle of life I managed to not loose my mind (although I came rather close) and simply just enjoyed life to its fullest. I laughed so hard I cried, I embraced, I shared, I grew, I taught, I was challanged, I loved with all my heart, and I spent it with the people I care about the most.

So here's too you, 2011. I can't wait to see what you have in store and all the amazing plans and journeys we embark on together.

With God it's always an adventure...

With Love,

Aj

You

You were once like family, you held a special place in my heart.

You cried with me, you endured life with me, and at one time you were the only one really there for me. But something inside you changed, you were desperate to take a road that I wouldn't dare to follow. My heart broke for you, I cried for you, I was willing to be there for you...but you cut the ties and walked out of my life anyway.

You were once a familiar part of my life. You encouraged me, you laughed with me, you found joy in getting to know me. But now we are merely strangers, friends of yesterday, and the promises you made have revealed themselves into the lies they always were. My heart was torn apart, yet I was still willing to help you carry your burden. My eyes exhausted from the tears, but I vowed to see you through another set of eyes. I was there for you until you said, "enough" and turned and slipped away.

You may have come and gone, but the imprint you left has helped make me into who am I am today. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have learned that I am much stronger than I ever thought I was. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have realized just how much He truly loves me. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have learned that He would always be with me...even when you weren't. You stirred up the passion in my heart. You allowed me to feel the same compassion for you like He feels for me, to love without condition, to learn how to forgive when it hurts the most.

You may have caused me one too many heartaches, but He brought beauty from ashes.

With love,
Aj

Give Thanks

"Oh, give thanks to the Lord, for He is good. For His mercy endures forever!" Psalm 107:1

During this time of year it's only natural to reflect on the things or people in our lives that we are thankful for. This year in particular, I am terribly thankful for some key people in my life.

God; I can never thank Him enough for His presence in my life. Through the many twists and turns of life He's always been beside me, He's never left me, even on those nights when I've felt so very alone in this great big world. He's been my Comforter, holding me in His loving arms as I cry myself to sleep time and time again. My Best Friend, always there with a listening ear and encouraging me with the sweetest of words. He's been there on the best of days when all I want to do is laugh with Him and find bliss in being a child of the King and on my darkest of days when I couldn't bare to keep on living. He's been my Healer, stitching together my heart and allowing the light of His love to penetrate my innermost being so that I can smile again. He is my joy, my true delight, and I love Him with every fiber of my being. Truly, if it wasn't for Him, I would not be breathing today.

Mom & Dad; I always knew I was one blessed lady with the parents I have. They've been nothing but encouragment, support, love, and laughter through all the years. But, it took a handful of stupidity on my part for my eyes to really see the gift I have been given with the two of them. Even though their hearts have ached over me, they still loved me. Even though I have slipped, they were always there waiting to help me back up. Though I thought I knew what I was doing, they prayed that God would show me the right way. When my heart was broken beyond repair (or so I thought), they were there to help me pick up the pieces, to hold me, to love me. They constantly point me to God, desiring nothing less than me following His calling on my life - whatever the cost, and love me even when I'm cranky. My mom is my best friend, the reasons for my OCD behavior, and the one person I know who continuously goes through trial after trial and still chooses to praise God through it all. Her strength through Christ is inspiring. My dad can make me laugh no matter what and is the reason for my ridiculous sense of humor. He's been my source of wisom, always knowing exactly what I need to hear even when I don't want to hear it. He has been the best example I know that has showed me what it is to live a life fully and completely devoted to the Lord. He truly is a man after God's own heart and gives me hope in waiting for God's best for me.

Friends; Though the term is very broad, my 'definition' only exemplifies a select group of people. These are individuals in my life who have been there for me through the ups and downs. They have laughed with me, encouraged me, prayed with me, or merely just listened and held me when there was nothing to be said. They are the sweet friendships that have grown since childhood. The women that are more like sisters than anything else. They are the long distance friendships that span from Washington, to Missiouri, to Ohio, to Texas. The ladies who I can go weeks or months without talking to, yet one email or text can make me feel like we've never lost track of time. They are the friends I thought I had lost at one point in time, yet by a move we are closer now than we have ever been. The guy who has an amazing servant's heart, knows how to encourage and uplift the lives of those around him, and has shown me that, although godly men might be a dying species, they do indeed exist. The woman who walked with me through a rough time and beat me senseless when I needed it because she loves me. The young lady who's fire and passion for God gets me all the more excited about furthering the Kingdom and the amazing plan God has in store for my life.

These are the people that make my life better. These are the lives I am so very thankful for.

With love,

Aj